If we left for Kazakhstan tomorrow, baby "Saskia" would have to sleep in a drawer when we got back and she would have exactly 2 outfits to choose from. Although, truth be told, Nicole (my generous sister-in-law) has offered my niece's hefty wardrobe. I think we would be covered on the clothes front. I could actually clothe half the baby girls in our town with Georgia's wardrobe.I admire people like Pat and Eileen, who are MAKING furniture from scratch for their child. Their nesting makes my head spin. And there are so many others who have created these amazing sanctuaries for their children-to-be: animals, clouds, quilts that look like the Kazakhstan flag, vintage baseball prints. I am truly impressed by all of this . . . even a little envious.
And, here we sit. Well, we don't actually sit a whole lot. Actually I did sit tonight to watch back-to-back cooking shows - "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" and "Top Chef"! But, still I'm not sure what we are waiting for.
Two things come into play here:
- I am not sure I am yet convinced that this will happen.
- I am a bit of a procrastinator. I seem to be more efficient when I have a very limited amount of time to do something. If I don't have a limited amount of time, I dawdle endlessly.
15 comments:
Angela, I was a PAP slacker too. Except it bit me in the end. We packed like maniacs the night before we left for Kaz and as a result didn't have a final checklist. We didn't know what we had packed until we got to Almaty. I was so flustered as we arrived late to the airport. In my "panicked" state of mind, I don't know if I left my work laptop at the gate or in the overhead bin--all I know was my laptop was gone forever. (As well as all electronic documents and photos related to my personal and work life!)
Please take my advice and pack like you're leaving tomorrow. It'll save you lots of stress and worry in the end. I wished I had.
I can relate so much to how you are feeling. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the amount of things we need to pack. Can you imagine how we are going to feel when we get our LOI? Do you know if we need pictures of a nursery before we go?
Marla
I'm also one of those that works best under pressure. We are probably less than two months away from leaving for Kaz and I'm in slacker mode. Lots to do, just no drive to do it! I'm sure this is going to bite me in the bottom soon.
I hear you sister! Seriously, the mattress for the crib arrived the day I left for Kazakhstan! I picked up a few things here and there along the way, but nothing serious until the very end when I was more convinced it would happen. But I would advise to at least start packing early. There is so much to remember, and some things will be a real problem to forget (travel docs etc).
Shannon
Angela, I wished I had done less. I have a crib, tons of toys, books, Kaz quilt, and even had a gorgeous Kaz rug made. It looks awesome. I bought all these winter warm clothes since I own none. But, looks like we won't go until May. so, I wasted some money.
and, what if we don't get a baby? Do I need a crib? What if someting happens and I don't come home with a baby? I have a whole nursery to deal with. I wish I had not done so much. I was just excited and so sure it would happen. This process is not predictable. For many, it is great and wonderful and fine. For some, it's not. You can always buy clothes..a quick trip to Target takes care of that. A child can sleep in a pack and play or in your bed until you get the store. It can all be done quickly. I love my nursery, it's great, but what if I don't get to use it. Not only did a spend a lot of money, but I also get more heartache. So, I think less is more, and remember here in america, a trip to Target is quick and easy and you can buy things on a dime. I wouldn't worry so much. :)
I have a ton of girls clothes. I may not end up with a girl! I figure I will just donate them to the baby house or give them to friends I know who have girls.
I went nuts because I have a boy who doesn't like cute clothes. :)
Less is more.
but, I may need to end up packing earlier than i think i need .
The laptop story was a bit scary from karen. :)
Angela, honestly about packing....I'm slacking on that. We're now wondering *what season* will we be in when we finally get to Kaz. Will we need all those winter clothes (that take up so much room) or will we need to get ready for spring or summer? So, as far as packing for our journey we're behind on that. It makes me nervous to think about it.
We are hoping to adopt a baby girl as young as possible....we're in for a wait, so who knows when we'll go?
Preparing for our little one at home....well we are trying to get as much done as possible. Pat will be going to Iraq or Afghanistan in Jan/Feb 09. So by the time we come home from Kaz, he wants bonding time for as long as possible before he has to go. He wants things ready for our daughter instead of taking the time to build more funiture when our daughter is with us. Does that make sense? By the way he has 2 projects in the works now!! hee hee It's been fun :)
Eileen
Angela,
Are you in my head? After you posted on our new blog, I read yours, and some of your thoughts truly feel like they came out of my own brain. We are still wrapping our head around the idea of being parents, so when people ask us if we have picked out names, or decorated a room, we start to get a little panic stricken! On your older post you mentioned an NPR interview with a woman adopted from Korea...we also listened to that, and then I believe she did a documentary about reconnecting with her birth family. It was truly moving. Anyways, thanks for the post! We will be following along with your story as well...
Heidi
PAP slacker I was not, though truth be told, it was because I Just. Couldn't. Resist. Yeah, I was the one who walked the baby aisles and threw in an outfit here, and an outfit there that was "just too cute." I had my whole nursery decorating scheme on a schedule- crib in November, bedding by Janaury... etc. I was the queen of checklists and made a packing list 13 pages long! Once I did that, I panicked as I realized one shopping trip simply wouldn't do! I better get started earlier!
Did it help? Eh. Who's to say. I still ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off (hmm... that is such a common cliche, yet when written, looks horribly violent) and was totally and completely exhausted by the time I boarded the plane.
I also think that in planning it out and making sure I did something every month, and then putting the check mark in the box, time seemed to go by faster for me. Basically it gave me something to do and work towards. I had no control over the process, but nesting was one area I did have control over.
I have felt like a PAP slacker also when I read other's blogs. I do have bedding and curtains for a child's room but haven't put it out yet. I haven't even told my coworkers yet, except my boss and a few close friends.
I have the same feelings as you--I do think this will happen but I have no idea when and I'm afraid to have everything ready and then just look at it for months before being able to use it. I also don't want the constant question--"Have you heard anything yet?" every day when I go to work. Also--I have no idea what age my daughter will actually be when I meet her so buying clothes doesn't seem too smart right now. I have however purchased many books--no matter what store I am in I seem to find wonderful children's books and have picked up quite a few. A bookshelve will have to be my first big purchase.
I think that if you have lots of love in your home you can bring a child into it--As Susan said a quick trip to Target can take care of the rest.
I feel like I've done a fair amount of prep, but we're definitely not ready yet. I am sometimes afraid I might jinx us if I get too set. But then again you have to have faith in this process or you'll drive yourself crazy. And you can't leave everything for the last minute or you will be under a lot of stress and not enjoy the process.
Seriously, there is soooo much to do as the time draws nearer that the last thing I wanted to worry about was putting a crib together (trust me the furniture takes a while to assemble!) or finding a rocker. So our room is almost ready, but still needs some bookshelves and storage pieces.
We started packing already when we thought we would leave sooner. It's not even clothes at this point because there is so much more to worry about...converters, baby supplies, medical supplies, gifts for your in-country team, duct tape, etc.
It can be overwhelming once all the little details start accumulating, so you might want to make sure you are working from a checklist. I really don't know what I'd do without ours! I'd be happy to send you a copy if you like.
Some people work well under a tighter deadline, so if that is what works for you and you have faith in yourself, then don't feel bad about holding off. :-)
Hi Angela, thanks for your comment on the baby clothes. I have been so lucky, most of Sam's wardrobe will be coming from my neighbor down the street. I figure what I have that doesn't fit will be a great donation. I still have my doubts also just trying not to let them get in the way!
I would love an invitation to your blog, just curious, why have you chosen to go private? I was going to but changed my mind. I keep forgetting what a scary place this earth can be, I live in a very small town and I am a little naive these days!
LSbblues@aol.com Lisa
I am a semi-PAP slacker! I find myself wanting to get things ready, but just not ready to take the plunge and buy stuff, especially the big stuff! However, my friends and family have taken to hitting the resale shops for clothes, doing that makes it possible for us to get several different sizes with the thought that the clothes that don't fit we can leave for the the children at the baby house. My mom on the other hand has put herself on a buying schedule since she is of the opinion that we will be getting a call sooner than we think! I am glad for her optimism. I did just work up a checklist for us and baby g because I am bored and thought I should do something. I am sorry to hear that you will be taking your blog private. My email address is m (underscore) wehmeyer (at) hotmail (dot) com. I would love to beable to continue to follow your journey!
Hi Angela - I'm catching up on some blog stalking and had to chuckle at this post. We prepared for our trip but have not done much to prepare for bringing Zoe home. We bought a crib that converts to a bed - just in case he/she was beyond crib age. And we have a few generic outfits plus a couple boxes of hand-me-downs from cousins. Oh and a car seat as well. That's it! A little of that was procrastination, but mostly it was simply not knowing who we would be bringing home and really not wanting to overdo it. The best part of this is that we get to go shopping for a specific little girl with a distinct personality once we get home. Can't wait!
Also, I'd love an invite when you go private. My stalking is minimal during these dial up days in Kaz, but I hope to resume some of it again once we get home.
Cheers!
Sara
yeomans_sara@yahoo.ca
Although I didn't go through adoption, in my 2 subesquent pgs, I didn't do ANYTHING early. I know for me, part of it was because I just didn't believe my babies were going to be safe. I also was afraid to jinx anything by doing anything. Sad? yes. Silly? yes. And even though I don't believe in "jinxing" there was still a little part of me that did, or I wouldn't have waited.
not sure if this is what you're feeling, if it is-I'm sorry. It's a sad and sucky feeling. For me, being a loss mom robbed me of the excitement other moms feel.
(((hugs))) FWIW-in the end, when your baby is in your home, it won't matter if she has a drawer or a crib, one outfit or 100, she will be happy because she will be loved.
April
Having gone through the ordeal of our failed domestic adoption - although I didn't do much it was very difficlut to have to go back to stores, return things with the whole heartache of the situation I was glad I hadn't set up the nursury yet. I am amazed how people do it - then something like what happened with Sandi keeps me in check - like everything else in life we will pull it all together when we have to. I couldn't deal with the aftermath if something did go wrong - I know I should have more faith however our domestic adoption was a "Sure thing" - my lawyer even said she'd bet the house it was happening. She'd be homeless today. Anyway I'm with you - yes I have things picked out but nothing is in my house and although I did the same thing last time it was a bit easier in the end to deal with.
Sorry to ramble but I didn't know if anyone else actaully dealth with this stuff in the same manner or if was just me?
Thanks for letting me share.
Darlene
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