Packing - Sort Of

I got crazy a few weeks ago and bought some of the above. Let's play a little game . . . identify the "essentials" we have purchased and inherited so far.

We received the books from a student of a colleague who actually lived in Almaty for a while. The Kazakhstan connections don't end there. Another of Scott's colleagues has a friend who teaches at a university in Kazakhstan. And, finally, we have another friend who wrote a book about Kazakhstan. Coincidences? I think not.

Okay - so what have we purchased? How are we doing? Okay, stop laughing. What else do you think we need to take with us to meet our little miracle?

At Rest

Dossiers
At the beginning of this school year, our family was working on putting not one, but two dossiers together - one for Kazakhstan and one for Scott's tenure. Who would have thought we would be putting together a dossier for anything. I wonder how many times I said this word the last few months . . . a word that was formerly reserved for spy movies and government reports. It is strange how a stack of papers can morph into a sweet child or job security - it is alchemy actually.

And, Then Life
Along the way, we have also taught classes and taken care of Saskia's brother. School. Luca thinks school is the nexus of the universe. Too bad we can't convince our students of that. When I was in school, I made some ridiculous assumptions about my professors - mainly that they knew EVERYTHING and they didn't have to do anything. They walked into class and their knowledge magically sprang forth. HA! I guess I still work under that assumption for myself - that I should know everything (impossible!). Teaching is hard work! I really found that out this past semester. My classes weren't filled with eager graduate students who did all the work, but with undergraduates with whom I had to struggle to spark the slighest bit of interest in the material (and work!).

Hiatus
Now, the school year is over . . . the grades are turned in and the defiant emails I received from one particular student are a distant memory. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming (they are really blooming - this has been an amazing spring) - life is good!

Congratulations!
Life is good for a lot of other people right now too! It seems like a lot of families are headed for Kazakhstan this month - Regina & Frank, Kelly & Sne and some others. Shannon is now officially full-time mom to Alexa! Suz and Matt have a little more than 2 weeks left until they return HOME with their two children. Karen and Glenn had a successful court appearance and now they are between trips. Welcome back & congratulations!

I have added a few links - one of the families (R&T) received their LOI. Michelle and Jeff made it to the MFA.

Diana & Bob finished their dossier (and what a process THAT was) and so did Ben & Suzette.

It really seems like things were stalled for a while. From what I can tell from unscientific observations (following blogs for 9+ months), people go in waves - fall, after the winter holidays (February-March), then late spring.

We are in the midst of the late spring rush :).

P.S. I read Catalina's post after I wrote this update. She is home for good with her two children as well! Congratulations to all of you!

Mothers' Miracles

Miracle
Luca is an honest to goodness miracle. He was conceived years after we started trying to start a family. I can't really remember what made us start trying. Scott was still in grad school and we were in our very early 30s living in a 5 room apartment in St. Louis working our butts off. Maybe we were driven by some sort of internal clock or hormones. I did not think much past getting pregnant, which is such a funny thing because I am kind of obsessive about anticipating things. I always want to be prepared. Even after we got pregnant, I did not think a lot about life after our baby was born. I was focused on having a successful pregnancy (a good outcome - medical terminology I became familiar with later) - I faithfully read Sears The Pregnancy Book, but did not think to pick up The Baby Book. I could not think any further than that little embryo.

We prepared for the birth with a 10 page birth plan and a doula (who's job was to go buy me vegetable broth at the grocery store because I had a C-section and we did not need any coaching - just broth that wasn't made from anything that had a face). We had a room, a crib and a larger, safer car. But, I still did not see the baby living with us.

When he was finally born in all his 10 pound glory, I stared over at his swaddled body in the plastic crib in disbelief. There he was - this little person whose knee stuck out of my side for the past few months - finally.

Nothing could have prepared me for motherhood - for becoming the center of someone's universe. It is joyous . . . overwelming . . . amazing. I spent some time in the bathroom crying because I was so overwelmed - the nursing, the sleepless nights, the 24 hour care, wondering if I was doing the right thing, fear of losing him somehow. But, I never wanted anything different. Now, our life together as a family is easy, infinitely fulfilling. And, the bond I have with my son is indescribable.

Another Miracle

Eighteen months later, we were pregnant with triplets - TRIPLETS! Once I got over the shock and found the faith to believe that everything would be okay, everything wasn't. Hope, Meret and Annalisa were born at almost 23 weeks gestation. Their existence was a miracle - it was also unlikely that we would lose them. But, we did.

I think of them everyday. I will think of them tomorrow especially. Three years ago, I was anticipating being their mother. A month later they were gone. As another loss mom recently explained about living with neonatal loss, "It gets different, but you never get over it."

Waiting for Yet Another Miracle

So, here I am, on the eve of another Mother's Day waiting for another miracle. I still don't believe sometimes. I still wonder if we will have the opportunity to parent another child. It is so fundamental . . . an experience so many seem to take for granted, but has proven elusive to so many others.

I wish all of you a happy Mother's Day - whether you have your miracle or are still waiting. Here's to hope . . . and MIRACLES!

Wordless Wednesday