Friday, August 29, 2008

Understanding the Process (Bonding Day 1)

The hangman puzzle is solved. Thanks for playing :).

So, Kokshetau it is. We are about 186 miles north of Astana. See map - right above Shchuchinsk and below Petro. It looks like we are not that far from the Serra clan in Kostanai which is northwest of us. According to Wikipedia, Kokshetau (meaning "blue mountains") is the administrative center of Akmola province. We are 30 miles from Burabai or "Kazakhstani Switzerland" and are at the end of the largest power line in the world!

Typically people travel here from Almaty via Air Kokshetau, but they aren't selling enough tickets right now and are out of jet fuel, so service is suspended. Instead, we flew into Astana and made the rest of the trip by car.

Astana rises up out of the flat, empty earth like the Emerald City. It is the new capitol of Kazakhstan and most everything there is only 10 years old. Our coordinator said there are lots of "banks and shops." Because it is so new, it doesn't seem to have the buffer of a ring of suburbs that most large American cities have. It seems to go straight from city to empty flatlands. I imagine that this is what some of the large cities in the Middle East look like.

Outside of the city, the landscape is flat and prairie-like for quite a while. There is very little that gives structure to the terrain - no billboards or exit ramps or fences or gas stations or hotels or anything. There is the occasional Lada parked at the side of the road with the driver selling jarred stuff - maybe honey? - and random livestock roaming free (again, no fences) or being herded by Kazakh shepherds (?). As we got closer to Kokshetau, I saw more trees and stands of birchs . . . and steppes, lots of beautiful, undulating steppes. We only drove past one town during the entire 4 hour car ride.

And, we did see a rainbow when we drove through the entrance to the city. What an amazing sign.

This morning we got up pretty early (5 ish) and Skyped with my mom and Luca. Skype helps a lot, but I have gone through these intense times of missing him so much. I know time will pass very quickly and we will be back home with him before we know it.

We had our meeting with the official from the Ministry of Education. He was pleasant. Our interpreter said he was in a good mood today. Basically, he just wants to check adoptive parents out. He asked questions that ranged from "Who is going to be the next American president?" (seems he is rooting for Obama too) to "What is the weather like where you live?" to "Do you have a preference for the ethnicity of the child?". At times, I felt like he was pulling questions out of the air . . . saying to himself, "Hmmm. What should I ask them next?" He also asked what we thought about the Georgian conflict. It seems both our interpreter and the official believe Russia is getting a bad rap in the American press because Georgia really started the conflict.

After that, we went over to the maternity hospital. Kokshetau may be the only city who keeps babies in the maternity hospital, not in a baby house (orphanage). So, our visits actually take place in a small room in the hospital.

The baby we hope will soon be our daughter is not named Saskia (Luca was pretty disappointed, but compromised by saying that Saskia will be her nickname). We really did consider the name, but we like her given name which is Alia, which means lofty, sublime, exalted. We thought this was the perfect name for the daughter we have been waiting for and also a way for her to stay connected to her birth country.

When we met Alia, we were greeted with an open-mouthed smile (very much reminds me of Shannon's Alexa) and giggles. She is such a sweet, sweet child. She could care less about any of the toys we put in front of her today. She just wanted us to hold her. I remember both Karen and Catalina writing about focusing on emotional needs before worrying about developmental issues. They were both speaking in reference to older children, but this seems to make sense for Alia as well. In the hospital, she does not have a lot of one-on-one time with nurses, so it makes sense to give her this before anything else. Alia is fascinated by Scott. I held her for a long time while she studied his face. She is very observant and alert. She loves to be lifted into the air . . . the "lifter" is rewarded with the best giggles. But, she can also be very serious. For the first part of the visit, we talked to her, held her and played a little. She got worn out pretty quickly. I had to remind myself not to get too crazy with the stimulus. The rest of the visit Scott or I held her and walked back and forth in our little room. She fell asleep for a little while in my arms. I forgot that babies double in weight when sleeping!

It really seemed like she has been waiting for us - maybe that explains the rainbow.

We will visit her every day from 10 am-12 pm. In a few days we plan to ask if we can stay longer. After 14 days of visitation, we can petition for a court date. I think we also have pre-court. We are making 2 trips because of Luca and because I am teaching this semester. There is a pretty significant wait between the request for the court date and the court date (roughly 3 weeks).

Hopefully, we will return by the beginning of October for court with Scott's mom. A good thing about this region is that immediate custody is often awarded after court. We will still have the 15 day waiting period, but actually get custody of Alia while we wait. After court, I will go back home and Scott and his mom will finish the process. Maybe we will all be together by Halloween. We can only hope.

I would love to show you a full photo of this little munchkin. I really would, but I can't. She is not our daughter yet - we still have a long way to go. Thanks so much for the great comments and checking on us - it means so very much.

23 comments:

Kim said...

Congratulations! Little Alia sounds like the perfect little girl. I am so happy your first meeting was perfect! So interesting that you are in a maternity hospital. I will be "glued" to your blog daily!

How long was the car ride? 186 miles would probably take, what, like 3 hours on our highways? I can't imagine what it was like in Kaz. I would surely have been sick!

I laughed about the man at the MOE wanting Obama to win. He must have seen his speech last night - brilliant! :-)

Enjoy your days! I completely understand about not showing a picture. I await the day you can!

Kim

Kami said...

I can't even imagine how you and Scott felt holding her in your arms for the first time..

You and Scott are such amazing parents..I have seen how much love you have given Luca over the past few years and I think Alia is so lucky to have finally met you.. She sounds so adorable and sweet!!!

I think of you, Scott and the Luca-monster everyday!!

Karen, Glenn, Allie, Max, and Sam said...

What a stunning post. Thank you for such a beatiful description. We love the name Alia, and she sounds so beautiful. We are so, so happy for you. It will be so interesting to read about the differences between a maternity hospital and visits there, vs. a baby house. We hope your ache from missing Luca will be eased by Alia's giggles.

dnd82001 said...

What can I say from one new in Kaz Mom to another - Congratulations!!

We are so very happy for you and wish you continued blessings now that you have found your precious little daughter!!

What a wonderful find at the end of that rainbow!!!

Congratulations!!

Darlene

Susan said...

i love her name...such a gorgeous name.
I was so hoping we would love the name our kiddo had..and we did! Leeza it is....although we spell it different than the Russian Eliza...

SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
i am sure she was waiting for you...as Leeza was waiting for us.

I'm so happy for you guys!

Impressed you are able to withstand the pics...i wasn't able to. :)

I was telling Tatiana about you today and she told me that your region is right near the resort region...I cannot spell either one.

SO HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY FOR YOU!
that is awesome they waive the waiting period, so you will be home probably around the same time we are.
Today is 4 weeks for us, and court is the 17th.

soooooooooooooo happy for you. :)
yay!!
LOVE LOVE HER NAME!

how old is she?
is she kazakh or caucasian? are you telling? :)

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Wonderful. Just wonderful. Your pot of gold was waiting at the end of the rainbow! Congratulations and enjoy the ride.

Joby and Marla said...

I was so excited to read about your meeting Alia. I love the name!!!!
How old is she?

I can't wait to see pictures of the area you are staying. Except for the long car ride, it sounds wonderful!!! Of course, it is wonderful because Alia is there.

I am so happy for you & for her. I can't wait until it is my turn & by then you will be home with her.

Enjoy your bonding time with Alia!!!!

Karen said...

Alia is a beautiful name—but wouldn't it have been something if her name was Dorothy? So happy for you and Scott. She's sounds perfect in every way. Finally, you have your little girl. (I love happy endings.)

Sandi said...

Alia is a beautiful name for your beautiful daughter. I am a faithful blog reader and now I am glued. I am so happy that she has been waiting patiently for you guys.

Enjoy everyday with Alia and hopefully talking to Luca every day will help with being seperated from him.

Congratulations and I am definitely looking forward to updates the next few weeks.

Sandi

Anonymous said...

Alia is a wonderful name. I am also curious to hear about that car ride. Too bad you didn't have any Obama buttons to give out to the minister! You have made it through so many hurdles and you have finally met your little Alia. Even though she is not "officially" yours, you are on your way. Hopefully, the rest is gravy.

babsinatl said...

Alia. Beautiful! And I think, with apologies to Luca, better. How agonizing it will be to return to the States without her. I cannot even imagine. But don't think about that now. Stay in the dream. Its likely I won't check your blog again until Tuesday...but I will be thinking about you the whole time! What an amazing journey.

Jennifer said...

Alia is such a beautiful name. I am so happy the process went so well for you.

I'm still amazed at the rainbow story. Can anything be more perfect?!

You know me- I'm glued to my seat just waiting for my daily handout. :-)

Julian and Sara said...

Congratulations!! Alia is a beautiful name - fitting for the beautiful way you tell your story.

Laura's Blog said...

I am so happy for you. Congrats!

Patrick & Eileen said...

Yes, Alia is a beautiful name!

It was very interesting to read about your flight to Astana instead of in Kokshetau. I wonder if they'll still have problems when it's our turn to fly there?

Continue to enjoy your little Alia!

Eileen

Thad and Ann said...

Congrats! Sounds like you have met the baby girl meant for you. I understand not posting a pic yet, we didn't until G was totally "ours". Can't wait until we can see her face though. :) how interesting that the babies are in the hospital rather then BH.

Alysa said...

Alia is a beautiful name! Congratulations!! I'm thrilled for you and cannot wait to hear more!

Diana said...

Blessings to you and congratulations on your baby girl. I don't blame you a bit for not showing her picture. We've waited so long and had so much trouble in this process, I'm sure when we finally travel I will be so paranoid I'll do the same.

Susan said...

Congratulations on meeting beautiful Alia! Even if you're not showing pictures I can tell from your description what a lovely creature she is. What a wonderful start for you all.

Jean Weber said...

SO very happy that you made it to the end of the rainbow!! Sweet Alia! soak in every second of your visits - two hours will feel like two minutes!

Four years ago today we left Koksheatu with our 22 pound butterball Colin Galym! We left a piece of our hearts there. . soak in everything! the people, the architecture, the food! (the fruit juices, yogurts and ice cream are yummy!)

Your posts have taken me down memory lane! I feel like I am gazing across the steppes at the birch trees from the bouncing car! Have they paved the road yet?!! HA!

Give Luba a big HELLO from the NJ Webers! (she may remember big boy Galym!)

Best of everything!
Jean, Kirk, Colin Galym (Kok Maternity Hospital Alumni)and his new baby sister from Uralsk, Molly Aidana!

Suzette & Tate said...

Congrats on yur new baby girl. She looks so tiny :) Can't wait to follow your adventures in Kaz and see a picture of your new family member :)

Suzette

Anonymous said...

Yeah! I couldn't get on the internet in my new apartment but finally did ;-) I'm so happy and I can't wait to see her. Alia sounds just wonderful, and you have traveled such a long road (literally, too:-) to meet her. Yahoo!
Love, Shannon