FearsMy daughter is crying . . . red-faced, screaming with tears popping out of her eyes . . . and there is nothing I can do to comfort her. This is one of my fears about adoption. How will I comfort my daughter without the almighty breast? In the first bleary days of motherhood I thought "How does someone who adopts do this?" I shook my sleep-deprived head . . . I wondered.
Now I will find out.
You are my Sunshine
I do have one secret weapon that seems to work with every baby that I have encountered - a little ditty called "You Are My Sunshine." When I was at my parents' house for Thanksgiving I had the opportunity to try it out to make sure I still have it. My brother's girlfriend's adorable son, Casey, was awake past his naptime on Thanksgiving Day. I swayed and sang and sang and swayed and his little body collapsed under the mesmerizing spell of "You Are My Sunshine" (without the sad parts). And, I thought, "I can do this if I learn to sing this song in Kazakh!"
I can't wait to sing, ever so poorly yet ever so earnestly, to "Saskia".
Oh, but WAIT!
But, the latest report is that this momentous occasion will take place later than anticipated ("several months"). Honestly, I am not sure what that actually means. Is the "several months" tacked on to the 4-5 months that it has taken people to travel recently or is it added to the 6-12 months quoted in the agency literature? Are we being prepared for the worst case scenario? We will wait. And I will continue to practice comforting young children with this nice little song whenever I have the chance . . . and watching this video, which is one of the cutest I have ever seen.
9 comments:
LOVE that video. That was so cute.
Sean's magic SEan was "Jesus loves me" He loved that and Jesus loves the Lil children and twinkle twinkle lil star. :) I sang those songs A LOT!
I hear ya on the wait for a lil girl. I think I may not need those new North Face boots I just bought...but, then again, I may. Oh well, I have purchased warm clothes If we go to Kaz when it's cold. If not, they will get worn at least once as we've promised Sean a ski vacation because he is dying to snowboard.
Just as we can't rush getting pregnant, or our pregnancies, we also can't rush this adoption process. I know, we're all anxious, but It's not a race. It's so hard to figure out the infamous WHEN question. I dont mind it so much myself, but i get tired of answering the question when my well meaning friends and family ask me...daily.
Hi Angela,
I got a "Russian for Children" CD, which I love. And I had already decided my favorite word from it was "solmishka," which means sunshine! So now you can at least try to sing it in russian ;-) That's a favorite song sung by my grandmother to me (along with East Side West Side) so now you know a "baby whisperer" technique ;-)
So what's the news on a wait? I haven't heard anything..... yet.
Shannon
What a bummer! I know exactly how you feel though. We received a nice, generic e-mail from Jim stating delays too. It was a hard time.
I had to laugh at your almighty breast comment. Not because it's all that funny, but simply because that thought never entered my mind. It was beyond my comprehension.
I did fret because she never was interested in a pacifier. In my non-breast world, the pacifier was the almighty AND SHE WOULDN'T TAKE IT!!! Ahhh!!! :-)
Yep, there were (who am I kidding? ARE) times when she just cries and fusses and there isn't much I can do. Nowadays though it's either because she's running out of patience, she's hungry, or she's tired. All of which I can recognize the signs and remedy.
But in the beginning? Yeah, I was afraid to go out in public because if she started, there was nothing I could do...
Oh my gosh that was the cutest thing I have seen to date. How adorable is that.
Awww, what a sweet little video! You make me happy when skies are "gay?" LOL. And the way he sings "dear" is so dear.
I'm so sorry that you got the bummer news. Hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait. Ugh! Rest assured that you will probably be singing *You're My Solmishka* to your baby long before the weather is hot.
My agency hasn't told me about the new waits yet, but I'm sure they are out there. So I'll wait with the rest of the adopting parents.
Glad to hear you like the Russian for Children, I orderd it I just need to DO IT. You inspired me.
OMG the little video - proves how babies can just absorb everything and they understand it! Cute!
Well, I've been at the "comforting the baby" thing for over a month without my breast...and it works. She seems to like to be held, which is nice. And there are many, many, many nurturing ways to comfort and love a baby without the breast. My close friend gave birth and couldn't manage the breast feeding no matter how hard she tried and she felt so guilty like she was a bad mom - but I reminded her that if she's a bad mom, what am I? Breast feeding must be a wonderful thing, and I sometimes yearn - no lying - but, in the end, I don't think Aila is missing out on any loving care because I am right there for her. There are lots of ways to show love and support!
And..this is such a drag about your waiting! I want to scream at your agency...I totally respect your patience, but on your behalf, I really, really cannot wait for your LOI!!!!
After I had my daughter many years ago, I got a staph infection and couldn't breast feed. The pacifier worked well, as did holding her. The rocking chair is a god-send. Don't fret - it will all work out. And what you anticipate will be the issue somehow morphs into something you never could have imagined - it truly is "always something" when you are parenting a baby!
I had to leave a comment on this one . . . I stumbled on your blog from . . . ugh, forgot (isn't that how the blogosphere works???). My husband and I sing "You are my sunshine" in unison as we try to calm my 5 month old. And just as he is about to drift off, I softly sing it to him. I swear the song is like magic. I also find myself singing Patsy Cline songs my mom used to sing to me. It is amazing how I am now doing the same with my own child.
Best of luck with the adoption . . . what a challenging process.
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