Wow! What a week. Is it only Wednesday?Have you ever felt like you have had challenge after challenge? It seems like it is one thing after another and that it all comes via email.
On top of all of the uncertainty in the world of adoption, I was reprimanded by my agency for including information on our blog that I didn't actually include. Apparently, one of my dear readers told his or her coordinator that I disclosed information that may have adversely affected another family's adoption process.
The thing is - I didn't actually disclose the information. Heck. I don't even write where people are going (with the exception of Karen & Glenn who, as you can see, identified their destination in the comments section).
You know the posts I have been trying to do once a week that summarize where people are in the process? I loved looking at Suz's summaries before she left. I wasn't kidding when I wrote that this process is not like a rollercoaster, but like living in a dark closet for months on end. Checking on other people, blogging, is like that little crack of light under the door. I like writing these summaries. I like feeling like I am doing something positive while we wait.
But, now someone reading this has told his or her coordinator that I am writing things that I shouldn't be.
So, I don't know. No more weekly reports? No more blog? Do I limit readership even further?I'm not sure what to do. What would you do?
26 comments:
Unfortunately, someone is violating the unwritten blog code of "what happens in the blogs stays in the blogs". It is too bad when you can't even be open in a PRIVATE blog. People need to have better judgement about this. I enjoyed your updates and hope they will continue. I hear you on the ray of light!
My first thought upon reading the title of your blog was "ruh roh (as in scooby)." Then I got mad. Chris and Tricia are right, these blogs are for us and shouldn't be "reported to the authorities" or whatever. I thought I was a loser for only having a few readers, but that's what made me comfortable - I had actually MET OR SPOKEN (or been referred to by someone I had spoken)TO EVERYONE ON THE BLOG - maybe you should pare it down more?
Sorry sweetie,
Shannon
How could you have ruined someone's adoption by posting on your blog? Huh? I don't get it.
Your blog is private. I don't understand what you got in trouble for. If people do not make their blogs private, then you can read them. I love how Suz did it then you did it too.
However, I did put someone's blog on my blog and then they asked me to remove it. I felt really bad, but of course removed it. I thought that's why you make your blog private? If you don't want people you don't "know" to read it, then make it private.
It seems to me that the agencies don't let us know what's going on either (maybe they don't know , themselves) so I feel like I learn more from my blogs. I know i've learned a ton more from blogs just about the process and emotions than from our agency. That's not a diss to my agency, it's just a fact that you learn more from reading other people's candid stories from their journey.
I'm sorry. :(
I still don't understand how you could have ruined anyone's adoption?
That doesn't make any sense.
I love your updates & I do not understand what you could have done to get in trouble. Someone must be making a mountain out of a mole hill. Why would someone even discuss your blog to a coordinator? This seems crazy!!!! Marla
I second everything that the others said. I don't know how you could have possibly hurt someone's adoption? That's crazy and it's a private blog no less!! I wish your agency could have been more candid with you to tell you just *how* that could have happened or what you put on your blog that was so wrong?
I enjoy your blog and never saw a bad thing about it.
Susan is right....I really learn so much from these blogs. It's also fun! I've met new friends too!
Anyway it's a shame that happened to you.
Eileen
Wow, I am truly amazed at how people at our ages would so call TATTLE to your agency, that just seems so ridiculous. However, I will tell you that I have kept a lot of my trial tribulation with my old agency to myself because you just never know.
Please don't stop your blog, I really love reading it and it is very helpful.
Did your agency tell you what upset the couple? I think they owe that to you. Maybe you should scale back as to who can read your blog, and people that you have not read there blogs etc, should not be allowed to read yours?
I hope and pray that you will continue to blog.
Oh no! That is terrible. I also enjoy reading your updates. It gives me hope to see other families progressing while it seems like some of us wait and wait. I don't see why agencies make such a big deal out of blogs; especially those that are private. Sometimes this is my only source of information. I haven't received an update from my agency for over a month and a half now (besides from our caseworker wanting us to read more adoption books). This is my reassurance that the process is still continuing!
I'm not even vaguely involved in the adoption process and I find this completely heinous. Unbelievably ridiculous. A highlight of my usual boring week is to check in here, and curses on anyone who would take such a delightful, well intended effort and use it for an ugly purpose. As if you do not have enough to worry about! Shame on them. Don't let the turkeys get you down, man. You just keep on...
Are you freaking kidding me?? Are we all back in high school where people tell on people! this is rediculous. Do you have an idea who this person is?? If you do than I would puch the "remove" button on the side and they can be stuck in the outside world!
You can't quit blogging, so many of us love to read your blog and enjoy your weekly posts! For us that have been home awhile it keeps us feeling connected in some way!
How did you get someone in trouble anyway?? Stupid people, stupid people. Private means Private!
I agree with the other comments - I just do not understand this! Why wouldn't they just ask you to remove something if they were concerned. You have always made it clear that the blogs on your blog will be removed if people request it, and most of us asked to be included. Plus your blog is private and you have never shared any details that I would think would be an issue.
That sucks. Obviously someone is misinterpreting your words. Oy. I don't know what I'd do. I like what you write!
Ok, seriously - what the heck! How immature! I hope you figure out who told what and delete them from having the privilege to follow your journey!
Morons! :)
Kim
That's really too bad that those people did that. I don't know what the answer is but my HOPE is that the person is reading these comments and regretful for what they said to their coordinator.
{{{hugs}}}
I don't know what the solution to this is, but it does seem wrong of them to go straight to your agency and not to you about it first if you HAD done something that upset them. I have never read anything on your blog that I would think would put anyones adoption in jeporady. I enjoy the weekly updates, it makes me feel that somewhere there is progress being made in the whole process!! Please don't stop!
Michelle
How can a private blog ruin someone's adoption? I appreciate being able to read your blog and follow your journey. I hope you can resolve this situation and keep writing in your blog.
Julie
Pretty amazing - like we all don't have enough to contend with then to contend with absolute nonsense!! Are these people kidding or what?
I just don't get it!!!!
I hope that you don't feel the need to curb your blog - your thoughts or your insights because of this, if, and I say if this is something that actually could mess up an adoption - we are all in trouble because it really doesn't make sense.
Ok I got that off my chest now on to you, you keep all of us, your adoptive bloggger family updated and happy -we need you and we so enjoy your site so please don't let this situation stop you!
Darlene
P.S. Persoanlly I have not even told my agency I have a blog - I didn't really think they needed to know. I probably will share but only when I am traveling or at least that was my thinking but who knows maybe not.....
I love your blog too! What the cripes? I would blackball those people from your blog immediately. I have blackballed them from your blog in my mind. They are dead to me. What crap, we are all in the same boat here, trying to muddle our way through. Your blog is very helpful and Kaz friendly. Keep up the good work.
P.S. it does make us wonder about going private as well, and really keeping it to bare bones?
I have read your summaries and there is NOTHING in them that would put someone's adoption at risk! What the heck were these people thinking. The saddest thing is that you have a private blog and STILL can't feel like you are free to post what you want.
I am sorry this happened to you. Is there anyway to figure out how this person was (and if that person is reading this now...shame on you!) and cancel their invite?
I hope you don't give up on blogging.
Someone once said, "No good deed goes unpunished."
Ain't that the truth?
My heart sank when I saw the title of your blog. Then, as I read it, I got p-oed. What kind of jack-arse doesn't understand that a blog is an outlet-and a private blog should remain, well, private.
I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you about ending your weekly updates because I enjoy reading them and I know it's helpful for you to write them, but only you know if you will feel like you need to censor yourself and if you do, will you actually get the release you hope to get by writing you blog?
Again, I'm sorry.
April
To be honest I understand the fear that can be induced in these blogs by the self appointed blog police and by agencies but I also think it is important for PAPs to remind agencies that there are rules in this country that protect freedom of speech and if their contract limits that then it is unconstitutional regardless of whether you signed their contract or not. Stick to your guns. That is what I did all the way through with my blog and nothing bad happened. Fear is a great way of controlling people - if you don't let them intimidate you they have no power.
Ditto. I agree with everyone's comments. I can't find anything you've written that would jeopardize someone else's adoption. And if someone felt that way then they should have the "balls" to confront you.
Shame on them.
Also thank you for the mention--it's great to be back in the USA where we have freedom of speech and don't have to look over our shoulder. (Although I do miss the Kaz diet--I lost over 10 pounds while there and didn't feel hungry at any time.)
I agree with everyone else. I love reading your blog, and I can't figure out what you would have written that could have jeopardized anyone's adoption.
Usually you just give vague status summaries, like so-an-so is in country, so-and-so met their kid, so-and-so is headed home. All of which, I'm sure you get from their own blogs.
You never divulge information that would jeopardize safety or security of anyone involved. And you certainly never said bad things about the government, adoption process, or agency.
I think someone is just making a mountain out of a molehill and looking for someone to blame. Don't let that destroy the happiness you get from posting on your blog, and the happiness and inspiration we all get from reading your posts.
Oh don't stop blogging! And I love the section on updates on families. That's how I've found my way to most of the blogs I've been reading lately!
I'm sorry that all this has happened but keep up the good work!
I'm so sorry this happened to you, honestly...some people! I get so upset when people "tattle". I agree with the rest, private means private.
Too bad that people feel that way.
I really like reading your updates as have trouble keeping up with everyone othewise.
Please keep it up.
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