AH HA!

A few words about the fine art of speculating
When we started this process, I distinctly remember saying to my adoption coordinator that the process would be easy after "all that we have been through." See what happens when one says such things?! EASY. Ha. What I failed to realize at the time was that we are talking about our daughter here - that adopting our daughter would put me on edge the whole entire time . . . that this is too huge not to stress and wonder and worry every step of the way. Easy. Silly me. And, there is a small part of me that does not want to do all that paperwork all over again if our I171H takes 6 months. But, I really need to get back in touch with my organizational skills, so why not? I would love to do the paperwork all over again.

There I go tempting fate again.

Kazacutie & Gigi
I have been reminded recently why we are doing this. Jen and Marshall (see almost all comment sections - they are there encouraging and supporting us and countless other people who are or have adopted) have received the coveted LOI (letter of invitation that the Kazakh government sends to invite prospective adoptive parents to Kazakhstan to meet their child). They described it best when they compared it to the golden ticket from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. This is what we are all working towards. So, they are finally going! A) I want to wish them all of the best on their life-changing journey to meet Kazacutie and B) I want to thank them for reminding me what this is all about. It is not about getting a piece of paper. It is about adopting a child. When I see the bigger picture, everything else becomes pretty simple.

Jennifer and Jim, who adopted their daughter Gigi this past summer, are also a constant source of inspiration. They have carefully chronicled their entire journey with a sense of honesty and reverence. I am happy for them and they give me a glimpse into the possibility of our future life.

I have not really allowed myself to think of our future life with "Saskia" too much because I am incredibly cautious. I realize this cautiousness may be a detriment to getting through the process. I have allowed myself to wonder about things like sleeping arrangements. I was thinking that Luca and "Saskia" could share a room for a while because perhaps hearing another child in the room would calm her during the night . . . because this is what she is used to in the baby house. Any thoughts?